Rule Rewriter Pillows

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'Hey! Hey! You need a trout stamp! Where's your trout stamp?!'

Alternative fielding positions

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

'At Tesmer holdings, we don't break the rules! We change them!'

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

'Hold it Billy - There are no praying mantises in school.'

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

He waited for the next wave of regulations to arrive.

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

'Now hold on, Mike. You're talking about embezzlement! And unless I'm very mistaken, that's strictly prohibited in the company's employee handbook!'

'Great! Now we're getting pulled over! I TOLD you that was a lint trap back there, but did you listen? Noooo!'

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

'What? I'm behind the barriers, aren't I?'

"You might call it shoplifting officer, but I prefer to think of it as foraging."

"Well, my daddy always says it's not a lie unless the Grand Jury says it's a lie."

'But, I'm not fishing. I'm just teaching my pet maggot how to swim.'

Fun on the pyramids

"He was right, you know - a queen can move as many spaces as she likes."

'My ambition is to discover the Great American Loophole.'

"The changes in the rules for risk management will turn the industry on its head."

'Never shoot straight up.'

'Where in the rules does it say I can't keep a mascot in the goals?'

"I'm afraid he's right-there's nothing in here about slobber balls."

'Um...Excuuuse me?! Apparently you've forgotten the household peacekeeping policy.'

'Don't look at me like that! I know it's a banned substance, OK? But how can I compete if I'm the only one in the league not using spinach?!'

No petting in the pool!

The covid marshal strikes again...

"I was acquitted."