Rugged Self-helper Gifts

"Don't try to understand them, just ride and rope and brand them."

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

Self help acupuncture

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

"Teach yourself what you don't know you don't know."

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

Relationship Warning Lights

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

Window Treatment

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

Unhappy man with 'rabbit-ear' fingers behind his head.

"Yet she never gains an ounce."

"You need to take this thingamajig...and attach it to the whatchamacallit using a turny thing."

A sturdy hand-hold against the vicissitudes of life: $1.00 per minute.

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

How to win friends and Influenza People.

"My pets found out they were adopted."

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'