Rsvp Enthusiast T-Shirts

"I'm through sending friendly reminders, Jerry. Are you coming to the potluck or not?"

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"Surprise!"

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

The Perfect Foil

"Instead of playing with that boring ball you got me, I updated your computer's operating system, I cleaned your keyboard and ran an antivirus scan."

Filling the Missile Gap

"As a rookie, I'm finding one of the hardest things to get used to is older people calling me 'sir.'"

'But I did study. I guess the software didn't install successfully.'

"I guess one of the bunnies was a boy after all!"

An acceptable level of TV violence.

Cybergoth.

"Anyway, to make a long story short, I'm the guy who invented CliffsNotes."

The Real Russian history

"Well...I notice a little criticism on my leadership style..."

A kid is about to be grabbed by an oversized claw.

'It was worse than that ? I was slimed by a lawyer!'

Tuna Surprise $4.95. You have to admit - he's pretty surprising!

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

Cartoon Editor: No, No, No, No, No, No, Maybe.

'A kissogram for the boss? It must be a mistake.'

"For five starts it's worth the trip."

The new rain dance.

"Yes, a surprise engagement. Even my husband-to-be here didn't know..."

Eurovision Hymn Contest

Dance Dance Dance.

"Woof"

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

'I know I was just here yesterday, but the courts ordered a recount.'

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

Surprise Party

'Too many cliches? Now hold your horses!'

'And tomorrow we will be having a surprise test.'

"Mr. Dankin, the plumber will see you now."