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"So, son, princes descended from frogs while other humans descended from apes."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

'You can just forget about the cake.'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

Lady of the bath...

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

'How about a game of cards?'

King George I

'You've made a powerful enemy'

Joust Sharpener

TV jester.

"He's a guard dog."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

'The Burrito King.'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

Czarcasm

"She wishes to range free!"

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'