Royalty Rules! T-Shirts

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'You can just forget about the cake.'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

King George I

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

TV jester.

"He's a guard dog."

'The Burrito King.'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

Czarcasm

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"She wishes to range free!"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

Princess Anne