Royalty Buffs Pillows

'Wise up, people -- Human rights abuses are what made this country great!'

"And now we're pleased to present to you the monarchical stylings of His Majesty King Gustaf."

I was like, Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown! Them my physical therapist was like, Well, don't wear the crown to bed! And now my head feels much better.

The king is angry you build right on a fault line, and he didn't think it was funny when you called it a "bouncy castle."

'How about that? -- Lady Godiva got a bouffant!'

"So this is, 'happily ever after' huh?... Who would've thought?"

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

Czarcasm

'The Burrito King.'

Several generations live together in Cuba

"He's a guard dog."

"It is we."

"She wishes to range free!"

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

Easter Island is still a tourist site after the oceans rise due to global warming.

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

'He was born with a silver spoon all right, but not in his mouth.'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'