Royalty Buffs Pillows

'Wise up, people -- Human rights abuses are what made this country great!'

"And now we're pleased to present to you the monarchical stylings of His Majesty King Gustaf."

'How about that? -- Lady Godiva got a bouffant!'

"So this is, 'happily ever after' huh?... Who would've thought?"

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

'The Burrito King.'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

Czarcasm

"He's a guard dog."

Several generations live together in Cuba

"She wishes to range free!"

"It is we."

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

Easter Island is still a tourist site after the oceans rise due to global warming.

Next in Lion

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

'Scroll down for the good stuff!'

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

Arnold's first day on the job - 'What do you mean...no director!!!...and who is going to tell me what to do?'

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'