Royal Satire Lover Pillows

"I tried kicking the economic crisis down the road, and it kicked me back!"

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

David Niven caricature

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

"But they told me I was too big to fail."

'I'm not saying he's unpopular, but the Secret Service won't let me wear spike heels.'

'To tweet or not to tweet...'

Queen to daughter about puppy: 'You won't either name her 'Queenie'!'

Charles entered wholeheartedly into the Royal image re-building.

Frank's (Littleknown) Bird Sanctuary.

"King of what, exactly?"

'No, no, no - I said do me a ship in a bottle'

"I've got nothing on for the next few months, do you fancy sex?"

King reaching for an apple

'Yes Sir, we do believe 'the customer is king', but that doesn't give you the right to deduct a 'Peasant's Tax' from your bill!'

"Would you have a moment to take a short survey about your experience?"

Palanquin Toilet Break

'The prisons are full, so I'm sentencing you to marry Rosie O'Donnell.'

Divorcees Club - The Joy of Ex.

"A source close to the Royals tells me that..."

Joke of a lover

LUDWIG REX, 'I don't like it - It makes me sound like a hairdresser!'

'First you drop hints - if that doesn't work, you drop bombs.'

'Hey -- this guy says we can skip capitalism and go straight to state socialism!'

'We don't have the funds to build a huge statue of you, Sire - How would you feel about a bobble-head?'

'Scroll down, no sorry, scroll up...OK now scroll down again...'

"Who named him emperor!?"

"I'm making moatmeal. Do you want some?"

'That's Lady Erica the courtesan's courtesan.'

'He doesn't reign so much as he drizzles.'

'It's a shocker - he was caught having a quiet night in with a mug of Horlicks.'

'But you kept saying the rhythm was gonna get you.'

'He's getting dreadfully lazy -- he fell asleep in front of the jester last night.'

'I'm tired of foreign policy -- I think I'll go interfere in the economy for awhile.'