Royal Musings T-Shirts

"Stupid unintended consequences!"

Every time an invading army tries to kill me, I wonder if I should have finished art school instead of going to the family business.

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

"A kingdom? A whole kingdom? All I want is a horse."

King with the boom box.

The Queen

'I don't know. Neo-monarchism sounds good...'

Queen to daughter about puppy: 'You won't either name her 'Queenie'!'

'He's disappointed with the Queen's card - he wanted a rude one!'

'Your mommy is here as you requested, sire, to check for monsters under your throne!'

'You'd better put yours on, too -- The MacBeths are coming for dinner.'

Football Royalty

'No, no, no - I said do me a ship in a bottle'

'Ever since she has found out that she is related to one of the Queen's corgis she has been unbearable.'

King reaching for an apple

"Sire, the auditors are in the counting house."

'But what I'd really like to do is direct.'

King Charles III's coronation

Palanquin Toilet Break

LUDWIG REX, 'I don't like it - It makes me sound like a hairdresser!'

'There's no business like show business.'

'TWO crowns? - I'd say you definitely have delusions of grandeur.'

'Mother's visiting next week, so I'd like you to lock up all the dissidents.'

'Hey! I didn't ask to be king - I had it thrust upon me!'

'First you drop hints - if that doesn't work, you drop bombs.'

'I'm pretty sure I never said I wanted a 'Bouncy' castle.'

'We don't have the funds to build a huge statue of you, Sire - How would you feel about a bobble-head?'

"Look! - Bloody sponging foreigners...."

"This must be the transparency he promised."

'Well, you DID know this job was dangerous when you took it.'

"Imagine how much it would have cost him if he'd actually met her."

'He doesn't reign so much as he drizzles.'

'Sorry, McTavish, but I've decided to switch to easy listening.'