Royal Family Observer Gifts

'Because the seniority system is traditional, that's why!'

"Possible exception to Prince William's proposed halt on space travel." proposed halt on space travel."

'You can just forget about the cake.'

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

British Prime Minister

"It's his emotional support animal."

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

A king and his paperwork.

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

Graffiti on guard's horse

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

"I learned about the despotism at the same time you did."

'A candle for it? Not blummin' likely - I'm a republican!'

"Mom said mopping up my snow tracks is a good start for my bucket list."

'One can see the baby's crown!'

'I'm a guard dog too.'

"Do these puffy pants make me look less tyrannical?"

"This is the first time you've ever planned a moat, I'm guessing?"

'When the baby sitter gets a standing ovation, I don't know whether to be pleasantly surprised or suspicious.'

Waiting Room

Medieval King

'Charles Frederick and Camilla Gladys!'

'Well, SOMEBODY leaked the frog incident to the press!'

Duchess of Cambridge

My horse for a kingdom.

'Son, isn't it about time you went out and conquered a country of your own?'

Junior's Towel

'In order to be the king's permanent wine taster, you only have to be able to do 3 things: drink, swallow...and live.'

Royal Variety

Catherine the Great with her daughter Nora Soso

POLLS, 'If an election were being held today....'

'I know you had to give him a job because he's a relative, but I still think a Press Secretary should know how to read and write.'

'Well, you knew the peace process was going to be dangerous.'