Royal Enthusiast Relative Gifts

Royal Wedding and the Austerity Programme

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

'Now that's an afro!'

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

Knight Golfing

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

King George I

'How about a game of cards?'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'You've made a powerful enemy'

Photos of Queen Elizabeth II

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"He's a guard dog."

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

Czarcasm

"She wishes to range free!"

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

The Frog Prince

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

Princess Anne