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Royal Wedding and the Austerity Programme

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Now that's an afro!'

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

Knight Golfing

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

King George I

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

Czarcasm

"He's a guard dog."

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

"She wishes to range free!"

Photos of Queen Elizabeth II

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

The Frog Prince

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."