Royal Ascot T-Shirts

Doorway for Hats at Ascot

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

'Now that's an afro!'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

A day at the races

King George I

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

'How about a game of cards?'

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

The Unhappy King

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

The Royal Wii

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

Royal Love

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

"To be fair, I think you should be very clear about the ground rules with your next jester."

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

"Someone should have warned you - he doesn't suffer fools gladly."

Hoodies anticipate bride's choice of wedding dress.

King Pin

'But, dear -- Lady Godiva is part of my diversity program!'

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'

'Nobody treats the king that way and gets away with it.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

Disraeli becomes Earl of Beaconsfield

Diana Inquest - 'It's time to move on, and start making a TV mini-series of her life.'