Royal Air Force Gifts

Parachute Jumpers.

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

Photos of Queen Elizabeth II

'How about a game of cards?'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

TV jester.

'The King of what?'

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

Oh, wait - Their king posted a declaration of war on your Facebook wall this morning.

"There's only the four of us. I hope you like doo-wop."

'Look, Carl, the glory days are over. You might want to slip into something a little more comfortable.'

Royal Bear Force - "Honey at 10 o'clock."

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

King and Jester

'Yes, he definitely wants something. . . maybe his crown and scepter.'

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

"One blackbird pizza?"

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

Reign Man

'I'll be honest. Your chances of success are slim.'

'Why round? Why not square? Or rectangle? Or a triangle? Or . . . '

"...and if any of you are opposed to my being king of the snake pit, raise your hands now!"

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

'Not till you're sixteen.'

'And there he was shouting: 'A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!'... I thought to myself: Why not...'

Support the Troops

'You're going to make the railroads run on time? -- Since when do we have railroads?'

'I wish you wouldn't bring work home with you!'

Beefeater

My horse for a kingdom.

'Anne Boleyn now regrets avoiding that Prenup Chit Chat with King Henry.'

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

''Proclaim freedom throughout the land'? -You're kidding, right?'