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'I'll speak to the Minister of Defence about it - $83,000 per arrow does sound a little high.'

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

'Now that's an afro!'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

King George I

'How about a game of cards?'

"He's a guard dog."

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

Czarcasm

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

"She wishes to range free!"

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

'He was born with a silver spoon all right, but not in his mouth.'

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'