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"Good morning, beheaded—uh, I mean beloved."

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

'Now that's an afro!'

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

King George I

'How about a game of cards?'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"She wishes to range free!"

Czarcasm

"He's a guard dog."

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

'Scroll down for the good stuff!'

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'