Rough Avoider Pillows

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

Good News about winter

'I beat the 5 o'clock rush... I leave work at noon!'

"Mummy said dinner was brussels sprouts tonight. What about we drop by the park and see if the old man sitting on the bench can feed us instead?"

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

"You couldn't just stop and ask directions, could you?"

Sawdust.

"Shouldn't you be studying?

A safe is about to fall on an unsuspecting man interested in risk-free investments.

'It's not flying I'm afraid of -- it's driving to the airport!'

"Prayer does work! I wasn't picked for any of the church committees."

"I don't have time for New Year's resolutions, I'm still working on the backlog from 1998-2000."

"Don't tell the boss, but I'm leaving early to beat the traffic."

Beach Burger - without sand 75 cents extra.

"I'm just going to stay in the car until all the bees die off."

This Sportsman is 'Playing Through the Green'.

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

"I'm sorry, you must have me confused with someone that does yard work."

'The one thing I hate about summer - great big moths coming in at night.'

James never left his bed, seeing nothing but danger in the financial world.

'Beautiful day out there, folks. Don't miss it. Complete coverage, coming up next.'

'I went to the city once, but I couldn't get used to the crowds'.

"We can't stay. Charles freaks out without some electronic device beeping or blinking at him."

'Nature makes me nervous!'

'Here! Call the contractor. I don't want to hear any nonsense about goals, or touchdowns, or baskets. I want to see shovels! Lots and lots of shovels!'

Too posh to wash...

Next time youwant to demonstrate Ronaldo's flying overhead kick to your nephew...use a pen and paper!

'Careful, it might be a trap...'

It's not that Ned is superstitious...but rather, he doesn't take unnecessary risks!

Virtual priority

'My dog ate my homework, so I couldn't study for the test. So, as his punishment, he'll be taking the test for me.'

'My last book did not have a happy ending. I had to pay a fine.'