Rosy-eyed Romantic Gifts

"Yes, it was 'love at first sight'. But, by the time I'd made my first opticians appointment we were already married."

Carbon Dating.

Marry me astronaut

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

'I know how much you like holding hands, so I brought you a box of them..'

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

'Which one is named after me?'

'A rose tattoo for your lady friend sir?...' A female Tattooist offering a rose tattoo, in the way of the old Rose Ladies in clubs and pubs

King Alfred's Daffodil's.

"I have such strong feelers for you."

It's not what's outside that interests me. It's what's inside!

"Yes dear, you have worked very hard on the garden. Unfortunately though, you've put the compost on the weeds and the weed killer on my best roses."

Flowers? My girl prefers a dead mouse!

(First signs) (A half loaf of bread, ... a jug and a half of wine, and thou beside me.)

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

"I see a girl, I see a marriage, I see her not understanding you, I see a beer belly. Do you want me to go on?"

Waterfall of Disappointment

Carbon Dating

Banana Smoothie

Tango

"Oh, he's so romantic."

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

"And you wanted to throw me back."

Moon and Star

'I love your spindly legs, your tiny pinhead and your bulging thorax - marry me!'

Marcello Mastroianni.

'Does the earth move for you as well.'

'I even love the way you snore!'

Happy Valentine's Day.

'A corsage! How sweet of you!! It's delicious!!! '

Rose

Didgeridoos

This is very sweet, Phil, but no, I don't want to buy a violin from you.

'I know you like romantic things, so I built us this love-nest. Stuck together with my own spit.'