Rosh Hashanah Hilarity Gifts

Rosh Hashanah used to be a confusing time for the hearing impaired.

United Church of OMG

"Honey! A Jewish starfish!"

'That Smith kid just invited us to his church on Easter Sunday!'

"I said half-moon pose, not full moon!"

Bris

"May your year be pear-fect."

"I don't care if it's his new year, that's my honey!"

"This year I'm going to lose weight!"

Om, I will kill him, ooommm. Om, I will kill him, ooommm... Jack would later be charged with premeditated murder

"You are so lucky I keep kosher."

Torah-nosaurus Rex

"Ah! It's that time of year again!"

"That's just sick."

"Your lives will continue to stink until you find your center."

Tradition!

Jewish Music

Existential Dreidel

You Got Schmutz On Your Face

"Look, it's manna or nothing - No WAY He's going to give us ham sandwiches!"

"You must be the Pastor's kid I have heard so much about."

"He just loves the lumps of gold you bought him last year."

"Don't even think about it!"

Jewish Scrabble

'I haven't eaten kosher in ages.'

'Yeah, sure, a 'family outing'! I'm telling you, it's that time of year and he's eyeing my horns!'

Paranoid Sheep

Look who's religious all of a sudden

"Mom, this Rosh Hashannah I have resolved to a) control my temper, b) be less selfish and c) be a more considerate son."

A snake tries yoga

'That's just sick!'

Mr. Latke Head.

"Well this blows"

Rosh Hashanah Expenses

Holocaust survivors live in poverty.