Roomie-life Navigators Pillows

"Hen you live in my building we're family."

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda

Everyone agrees: Aunt Juanita needs a man.

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

"Honey, this is serious, we need to text."

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

"Why do I feel like your mother is going to blame this on my cleaning?"

"Of course I love you, I'm just busy with other men."

'Do you take this annoying woman to be your lawful wedded wife?'

Baby At The Entrance Of The Maze Of Life

"Mommy is having another baby. Let me assure you that any paradigm shift will be incremental, core values remain family-centric, and Mommy is committed to assimilation and building synergy."

"Uh-oh. The so-called marriage penalty."

"No, Phil, I'm not grateful that we finally have some time alone."

"Do you, Amanda and John, promise to watch yourselves, mind your Ps and Qs, and generally step on eggshells in this marriage, in order to somehow keep it up and running for as long as possible?"

'I'm sorry but I need my own space.'

"Let's split up the jobs for taking care of the baby. I'll take care of what goes in to him. . . you take care of what goes out!"

"Thanks for that."

Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasal spray instead of super glue!

"It's not all your fault, some of it is my mother's!"

"This isn't working out - I'm an earthworm and you're a....are you even listening to me?"

'We tried marriage your way and it didn't work. Now it's my way!'

"I don't understand... I've scientifically proven that you were wrong. How can you still be mad at me?"

"Once we're all vaccinated, will you still want to spend every waking moment together?"

"Life’s become pretty easy lately. Perhaps it’s time we shake things up by adding a dependent."

'I feel like I just don't know you anymore, Richard!'

'No Jennifer! I never head of mad broccoli disease.'

"Harry, you're wrong on every level."

"We slipped in the tub."

'In defense of forgetting our anniversary, I forgot we're married.'

Cupid gives up trying to get cell phone-using couple together.

Fourplay.

"He's not gonna lose it tonight."

Walk dog, brush your teeth.

"Get with the program, Barry, the certificate clearly said, 'till death do we part'."

'Let's take this step by step -- first, I want you to recognize each other's right to exist.'