Roof Repair Fanatics Pillows

"See, Jimmy? If they give a big tax cut to the wealthy, those guys'll feel good and have us come fix their roof and stuff."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

Tool Box

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"You need to take this thingamajig...and attach it to the whatchamacallit using a turny thing."

Fuel bill gone through the roof

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

"When it comes to fixing his own computer, I call it his PDDIY project. That stands for please DON'T do it yourself."

Is this for wiping greasy hands?

Timber preservation

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

Bob’s Museum

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

'Certainly. Here's the break-down. Seventy-five dollars for my labour. And seventy-five dollars for you impersonating a plumber.'

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

"Was it a fuse?"

"Lady... I gotta work order to fix a leaky roof."

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

'Your car's ready, but drive carefully for awhile. I had to give the student an 'F' for the work he did on it.'

'Why did you get a huge socket wrench set? You never use socket wrenches.'

'I think I found the problem.'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

Organized chaos.

"Dad needs a Phillips screwdriver. Who's Phillip?"

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

Umbrella Roof

"It's a great Fixer-Upper and this is Ken, single, available and a pretty decent handyman."

'Any day now I'll fix the roof.'

Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasal spray instead of super glue!