Roof Repairs Pillows

'-and now a prayer for the roof fund...'

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

"I'd like a new tire for my 1976 Chevy Chevette."

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

A DIY disaster.

Fuel bill gone through the roof

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

Lady about flat tire: 'It's not too bad - it's only flat on the bottom.'

Home De-Po. Things you need for your project. Things you didn't know you needed until you were halfway through your project.

CLEAR!

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

The world's most unemployable family

When Tia Carmen says... "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner" it means "I can fix it with a hammer."

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

Lazy plumber.

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

Bob’s Museum

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

Cowboy at mechanic with horse hoisted

"Lady... I gotta work order to fix a leaky roof."

"Never marry an engineer."

"We've run all the technical stuff and found the cause of the funny sound coming from your computer."

'Your husband started without me, didn't he?'