Roofing Specialist Pillows

Fuel bill gone through the roof

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

"Lady... I gotta work order to fix a leaky roof."

Dave took his motto, 'Roofing done in one hour' seriously, even nailing shingles before plywood had been put down.

Man falls through ceiling - 'Did you find the leak?'

'They did a great job in restoring all the 19th century details, but this confounded dress code...'

Authentic Rinkelmier chair (Built 1723)

Under New Mismanagement

'That'll be $50 plus $200 to repair the damage you made trying to fix it yourself.'

Umbrella Roof

Castle Cellars: Bob's Basement Waterproofing

'How do you propose to repair the roof from down there?!'

"I'm all set to start the weekend reno project..." "And I'm all set to call 911."

Bathing and Showering.

"It's the stock brokerage company again. Some of their investment picks have gone through the roof again."

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

"You'll soon get the hang of the simple Linex 3968X with 4936.." Norman began to think he might be better suited to a career in double glazing."

Rodin's Roofing Contractor

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "Fed up in Flint," you're on. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?! House of Java.net Cybercafe. I bought a dirt-cheap house in Flint, hoping to rent it out. I had it renovated, and then the day before our open-house, someone broke in and stole all our plumbing. So what?! In my day, nobody had plumbing! We did our business in a ditch down by the river and we were glad about it! List it as "vintage Americana" and quit yer complainin'! But they took the roof, too. In my day, a roof

'Well... at least we know the basement doesn't leak.'

'-and now a prayer for the roof fund...'

'Give me the saw Stanley, I'm calling a professional.'

"It's just a hunch, but you may have the power set too high on your pressure washer."

"Ernie, what are you using to repair your place?" "Ig-glue."

"We have rising damp, you don't know a good cobbler do you?"

Straightening up.

ACE Roofing: Our Minds Are Always In The Gutter!