Window Repair Enthusiasts Pillows

"A little high and inside."

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

"The blow drier is broken."

"Was it a fuse?"

Man falls through ceiling - 'Did you find the leak?'

Shoe Repair and Pest Control.

"It's a great Fixer-Upper and this is Ken, single, available and a pretty decent handyman."

'Any day now I'll fix the roof.'

"Turn down the bass."

Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasal spray instead of super glue!

"It's times like this I wish I was ore than just an armchair plumber."

'Before you say it's got some old parts, remember that you installed it.'

'Guess what? I fixed your jack-in-the-box.'

"Then I'll huff and I'll puff..."

"Yes, Mr. Willis, it's definitely rising damp."

"I'm having a little difficulty adjusting. The last place I worked was a lot bigger."

DIY store.

I'd like to help, ma'am, but your dishwasher came with a "do not resuscitate" order.

"Sir, you may find this book very helpful, too."

'D.I.Y. SAS.'

"I guess I found your problem, Miss Rapunzel."

'So, what part of the house are we delivering shock and awe to this weekend?'

'I'm from the odd shaped glass supply company.'

He'd get to the broken porch just after he fixed the broken axle, the broken stall and his broken dreams.

Attack of footballs.

F & E Plumbing. Yes, I know you're always at my disposal. If you were better plumbers, you wouldn't have to be!

Unable to fix the hot water heater, the maintenance man relabeled the faucets, 'Cold' and 'Freezing.'

Deux Ex Mechanic

'Watch out! That stuff prevents streaking!'

"But we make a killing on auto repairs...if we encourage people to fix things themselves first."

"I just love window shopping, don't you Harold?"

"Everytime he closes a door he opens a window. He's obsessed with airflow."