Roof Rack Raconteur T-Shirts

How to read a modern roof rack.

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

'Let's send her a text message; 'You're FIRED!''

'No.... My cat doesn't like being given pills either...'

Coffee Shop and Battery Charging Station

"I recommend number five if you have only $20 so that you can still leave a tip."

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

'No Jake, I don't want to watch you do it again.'

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

'Oh, really? I work for little softy.'

I'm a gangster rap fan too!

'Leader shy and angler wise I can put up with - it's the darn insolence that bothers me.'

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

Dog orders the food 9 out of 10 dogs prefer.

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

"House red, sir?"

"You bet I had it mounted, it gave me the best fight of my life."

Road Kill Cafe.

Isn't that a surveillance camera?

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

'Hello, Doc Barnes? I just got your bill. You've just bought yourself a cow.'

"I'll need a three iron."

'Bag? Any vouchers? Like a packer? If you have two of those... What type of apples are these?'

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"

"Sparkling, Still, or Gushing?"

Social butterfly

'Hi, I'm Leo. How's the food here?'

'In a four-star restaurant, one's hat does not fall into the cassoulet de castenaudary. But if ones hat does fall into the cassoulet de castelnaudary, one does not put it back on one's head.'

"That's the man, Officer. That's Mr. Right!"

'Mister Nooka, taking over the frozen food division.'

Robot asking for money in bar code language.

Harold Was Done Asking Customers About Their Day