Romantic Sparker Pillows

"I know you don't really eat candy, so, it's empty."

'Sometimes it's difficult to get their feelings to the surface.'

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

"Well, I finally figured out why we were going to the vet so often for check ups! He finally plucked up the courage to ask her out!"

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

"Why won't you cuddle?"

"Oh darling! I just got your wonderful value added proposition! Of course I'll marry you!"

'It would never work, Tommy - you have all the growth funds and mine are all value...'

'Get an afterlife!'

Mergers or acquisitions.

'And that, in a nutshell, is why men don't understand women.'

"Helen, is it possible that we are using our child as an intimacy barrier?"

Single girl in wedding dress trying to catch a bachelor.

"But gosh, Ursula, together we'd be exactly what every major advertiser is trying to reach."

Man and Woman suck in their stomachs in order to impress.

"What do you mean asking you to marry me via text wasn't romantic? Did you see the emoji with hearts for eyes I attached?"

'I can't believe she married the prince after only one date.'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

"I never knew what love was until you came along and explained it to me."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

'I don't know, Randy - Marriage is so INTRUSIVE.'

'I'm thinking merger.'

"He stowed his own bag, closed the bin, buckled his seat belt, then watched the whole safety demo...it was love at first flight!"

"He's falsified data, he's falsified results...and now he says he loves me."

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways..."

'Quick Betty, come round to the Red Lion and wear your highest heels.'

'He must be serious,mum - he's taking me out again tomorrow and there's football on television.'

"And you're telling me this because?"

'And don't say you could have done it cheaper and better at home.'

'What does the Scout manual say about this situation?'

"...Also, true love is eventually tax deductible."