Romantic Procrastinator Gifts

Valentine's day, grocery store, 5pm

'My wife's birthday always seems to be the day after she reminds me...'

'I've got SO much on my plate right now, Steve -- Ask me again when I'm fifty.'

"Well here I am, 'Better late than never', late but definitely 'not better'."

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"I'm waiting for my imagination to run riot."

Serious Putty

"This next song's from the soundtrack to the film of the book I never got around to writing."

The Forever Stamp

"Listen, pal, they're all emergencies."

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

"We really have to catch up on our New Yorkers."

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

Invaders from Planet Manava.

'I would have had these reports done sooner, but someone rolled a ball with a bell inside it into my cubicle.'

"Do you mean am I busy busy?"

Holiday Shopping for Guys

"The pastor can't be disturbed. He's preparing for Sunday's service."

Hi! You want to, like, hang out? Sure. When are you free? Twig! Time to pack. We're leaving!! In about a year? It's on my iCal.

Still living with parents....

'Do excuse Ed's immobility - he's being regulated.'

"Man! I just had to pull another all-dayer."

Messing around on the internet when your boss thinks you're hard at work.

"He should be there by now. He left for work an hour ago."

"Frankly, I could move a lot faster, but the truth is that I lack motivation..."

Why are you texting instead of working?

"Doing chores is very stimulating. I'm always thinking of ways to avoid them."

Yeahhhh, I've goofed-off at the fax machine, laser printer, copier, but I'm a traditionist. Nothing beats the watercooler!

'I want to speak with you about your work habits.' 'You mean work is habit forming?'

Fred raises the "Late Bloomer" bar to a new level.

Smug Colleagues Leaving Work.