Romantic Evaluator Pillows

'Your performance in bed?...On technical merit of artistic impression?'

A couple look at a graph on their bed

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

Dating an English Major

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

"I'll give you my unconditional love - on one condition."

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

Couple kissing by a 'Ped Xing and Oing' sign.

"What I mean is what do you do with yourself all day?"

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

'First date with a logician - These venn Diagrams will save us a lot of time. We'll see where you fit in, where I fit in, and if any of it overlaps'

Deconstructionist girlfriend

Rodin's Irish Judge

Single men in Tahiti

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

'Relax babe, that's me before the operation,'

"I love it when you quote my blog back to me."

Love and temptation go hand in hand...

'Have I ever told you how beautiful you are when you agree with me?'

Couple in Grey

Critics In Love

'I didn't know our relationship was SUPPOSED to be going anywhere.'

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

"I can't see it lasting!"

Sex Score

Elderly couple

'When I married him, I didn't expect the full frontal crudity!'

Lulu's Dating Service: Special! Adult summer camp...Dining, dancing & long walks on the beach.

Man asking lady if she cares for him

'We first met here - when I was doing your job.'

"I thought dry ice would enhance the mood."

'I'm still beautiful you know . . . you just have to read between the lines.'

'Was it good for you, babe?'