Romantic Dilemma Solver T-Shirts

"Ask Sadie Advice Hour," what's your question? I'm seeing two men. One's poor but I'm crazy about him. The other feels more like a friend but he's filthy rich. If I could somehow combine the two of them into one man, he's be the perfect man for me. But I can't, so which one should I keep? Grandma Cohen once told me, "If you've got two suitors you wish you could combine into one, that means neither is right for you." But Grandma Cohen never lived to see the wondrous advances in black-market surge

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

Can do...No can do

'I'll give you a clue. The answer is a number, not a fruit.'

Man practising karate is tempted by a glass of beer.

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

Math Camp. I should have read the brochure more carefully before I signed up -- It says "Go on an add-venture and have sum fun"!

Oedipus

Tech support...can I help you!

"Dear Diary: Today I picked a peck of pickled peppers."

Company Ink.

"Helen, is it possible that we are using our child as an intimacy barrier?"

"Uh-oh. The so-called marriage penalty."

'Same problem every morning. What to wear..?'

"I'll give you a moment."

You look lovely tonight. It's a good think the coat-check girl let me check my thought balloons. !!

"My wife is constantly invading my personal space. I think she gets it from her family."

"You complete me, Barbara."

'I told him over and over again never to press 'delete' more than twice!'

Answers to last week's brain-teasers

"Go ahead, reply all!"

Cryptologists Anonymous

"It's all hypothetical, of course, but how much wood do you think you could chuck?"

"So this is me."

'What goes ho, ho, ho, plop?'

"Let's just agree to disagree." "I suggested that first!"

"I give up. What's black and white and red all over?"

'Okay, I give up. What is black,has two wings and fourteen legs?'

Life irritates art

"Hello? IT support? I think my hard drive is fragmented."

Wordplay: Fertilizer.

'I have a great existential dilemma. I consider myself a conservative... but I love liberal women!'

'Soon I will have proved it ONCE AND FOR ALL!'

Buttons read - OK/Not OK/I'm OK but I still want to cancel.

"I didn't say WE were going on a double date. I said I was going on a double date."