Reading Dilemma Solver T-Shirts

"Hmmm, let's see... short story, memoir, non-fiction or cocktail?"

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

Can do...No can do

Bad for you but to die for

'I'll give you a clue. The answer is a number, not a fruit.'

Man practising karate is tempted by a glass of beer.

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

Oedipus

Tech support...can I help you!

"Dear Diary: Today I picked a peck of pickled peppers."

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

"I know you hate being told what to do, but it's the GPS. That's its job."

'Same problem every morning. What to wear..?'

'I told him over and over again never to press 'delete' more than twice!'

"I'll give you a moment."

Our Computer is Up/Down.

"Go ahead, reply all!"

'The carpet's too thick so I cut a bit off the door.'

Cryptologists Anonymous

"It's all hypothetical, of course, but how much wood do you think you could chuck?"

'What goes ho, ho, ho, plop?'

Damned if you do...

"Let's just agree to disagree." "I suggested that first!"

"I give up. What's black and white and red all over?"

'Okay, I give up. What is black,has two wings and fourteen legs?'

'I wonder if this needle will do....'

Life irritates art

'Soon I will have proved it ONCE AND FOR ALL!'

'I have a great existential dilemma. I consider myself a conservative... but I love liberal women!'

Wordplay: Fertilizer.

"Hello? IT support? I think my hard drive is fragmented."

Three-eyed man beats three card monte game.

Buttons read - OK/Not OK/I'm OK but I still want to cancel.

"We can't let the king die, but we also can't do anything that suggests he needs saving..."