Reading Dilemma Solver Prints

"Hmmm, let's see... short story, memoir, non-fiction or cocktail?"

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

Can do...No can do

Bad for you but to die for

'I'll give you a clue. The answer is a number, not a fruit.'

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

Oedipus

Tech support...can I help you!

"I know you hate being told what to do, but it's the GPS. That's its job."

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

"Dear Diary: Today I picked a peck of pickled peppers."

Our Computer is Up/Down.

"I'll give you a moment."

'Same problem every morning. What to wear..?'

'I told him over and over again never to press 'delete' more than twice!'

"Go ahead, reply all!"

Cryptologists Anonymous

'The carpet's too thick so I cut a bit off the door.'

"It's all hypothetical, of course, but how much wood do you think you could chuck?"

'What goes ho, ho, ho, plop?'

Damned if you do...

"Let's just agree to disagree." "I suggested that first!"

"I give up. What's black and white and red all over?"

'I wonder if this needle will do....'

'Okay, I give up. What is black,has two wings and fourteen legs?'

'Soon I will have proved it ONCE AND FOR ALL!'

Wordplay: Fertilizer.

Life irritates art

'I have a great existential dilemma. I consider myself a conservative... but I love liberal women!'

Three-eyed man beats three card monte game.

"Hello? IT support? I think my hard drive is fragmented."

Buttons read - OK/Not OK/I'm OK but I still want to cancel.

What's grey, has four legs and a trunk?

"We can't let the king die, but we also can't do anything that suggests he needs saving..."