Romance Wranglers T-Shirts

Interior design trends for parents....

She - Interpreter - He.

Toys in the DVD Player.

"I couldn't possibly lick another baby right now."

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"Dammit Harold, you know I hate that mask!"

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

Sulk Shows

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"I fell in love with her. Then she mutated."

'Beware of teething baby.'

Climbing with the baby

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

"Could you speak a little louder? I'm recording this."

"Marriage is driving me crazy and she's my designated driver!"

Baby zipping himself up then going to sleep

'OK...now what?'

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

"My seven-year-old is a prince, but my forty-seven-year-old is a pain in the ass."

'It's always about you isn't it, George? Wouldn't you like to hear about the terrible day I've had for a change?'

Babies

'They had three puppies and four kids before me: It's almost impossible to find a piece of furniture that hasn't been chewed on...'

'Gee, Dad, Mom's getting better at this all the time!'

I think these suits have feet in them so we won't leave prints

'Whenever he feels under attack, he calls for backup.'

Diplomacy

"You always insist on having the last word!" "Sorry!"

"He's fluent in 24 computer languages and never says a bloody word to me."

"Of course I'm sorry for whatever it is I'm supposed to have done."

'The trouble is not with your set -- the station just got hit with a new batch of politically correct Federal regulations.'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Winter Clothing'