Romance Raconteur Pillows

"I've always been pretty good with the ladies" - Small claims court.

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

"I can remember when a dollar was worth $47.32."

"I have a couple of other projects I'm excited about."

'No.... My cat doesn't like being given pills either...'

Non Thought For The Day.

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

"I wrote a poem, even though I'm on vacation."

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"At least you don't have a needy husband and an angry dog."

"I had half a date last weekend."

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

'Women, can't live with 'em, can't live without em.'

"You bet I had it mounted, it gave me the best fight of my life."

"Hurry, hurry! When you get back, we'll finish rehashing 1924 and get right on to 1925!"

'I guess I shouldn't have expected too much. Martin was a floor model.'

Dad said that if he's paying for the wedding, he's entitled to a little something.

There is no limit to the amount of nonsense that men can talk about football.

Social butterfly

'Would you like to come over to my place and see a video of my first marriage?'

"That's the man, Officer. That's Mr. Right!"

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"

'With me and Dave it was definitely love at first sight. How about you two?'

"So when you said you were a bee keeper..."

"The lack of perspective kills me..."

'Even women talk about the one that got away'

"I can't remember if I didn't like his second book or his second wife."

'So, do you fish for sport or do you actually catch something?'

"Great, but how is he in bed?"

Brenda always had Safe sex

Every wife's dream conversation.

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