Romance Planner T-Shirts

"Just remember if we don't enjoy it we can claim it as a tax-deductible business meeting..."

'I sent out for everything.'

"I still plan to be a cowboy when I grow up. If I'm going to service my share of the national debt, I might as well have fun doing it."

"First aid box, puncture repair kit, mobile phone, energy bars and plenty of liquids; I think that's all eventualities covered..."

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"We have a song, but neither of us can remember it."

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

Cindy's imaginary friend has the day off so the agency send over a temp to fill in.

"She said 'let's go for a walk in the park'. It turned into a quagmire."

'Darling, how romantic...a pre-nup.'

"Now let's share a moment of silence in memory of our portfolio."

'I see you've renamed your portfolios Moe, Larry and Curley.'

Customized Personal Retreats.

"I haven't had smouldering, passionate sex for a while....could you put it in the diary for next week!"

"I'm not trying to change you. That's the personal trainer I hired's job."

"The usual. Dinner and a show...He bought dinner and I put on a show for him."

"This grade doesn't fit into my five-year plan!"

"Yes, a surprise engagement. Even my husband-to-be here didn't know..."

'Come now - surely we can draw up this pre-nuptial agreement amicably.'

"I have to confess a sin, Preacher. I went premarital shopping."

How to feel confident in love & war

'I'm not complaining, but the last time you took me out to dinner, Colonel Sanders was a brunette!'

'My boyfriend is meeting me when I hit the ground.'

'It's a very realistic set that even comes with contract specifications and outrageous bid proposals.'

"Pre-nups are healthy for a relationship. It's good for our lawyers to get to know one another."

'Look - forget I asked if you were free any evenings...'

"The kindergarteners have breached their classroom confines, and are headed this way. We'll be overrun within minutes. What should we do?"

"I think I prefer a hot Italian sun on my back and a hot Italian hand on my backside..."

Benjamin will be my steady-and-sensible second husband, but Gabe will be my gorgeous-yet-immature first husband.

"Is this the Love Boat?"

Cupid's Heart Dartboard

Gracie hatches a plan to trap Santa.

'This dinner had everything necessary to make it perfect...Great food, candlelight, violinist... you clutching your chest after seeing the check.'

'This beeper goes off when it's my Birthday. This beeper goes off on the day we met. This beeper goes off on Valentine's Day...'

School Trip To The Beach