Romance Modernist Gifts

"Forget the glass slipper thing. I've just installed the Tinderella app."

Right click for yes...

"I gotta be me!"

"Mr. Right!"

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

The Selfie

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

Online Dating

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

'After sex he checks his cell phone messages.'

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

'Let us pray...'

"You may now kiss the bride."

T.S. Eliot lacks the courage to eat a peach.

Technology and Love

"Of all the wet cement, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks in mine."

Spooning

Virginia could tolerate the Woolf whistles no longer

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

'-and the ceremony,dearest,your place or mine?'

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

James Joyce.

"And do you, Stephanie, promise to love, honor and 'obey'?

"I'd love to spend more time with you, Jason, but you're not on my fall schedule."

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

"Do you promise to love, laugh and send cute pics of the cats even if you're just in the next room?"

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

"I was surprised myself, but living apart, seeing other people, and having virtually nothing to do with each other actually has made our marriage stronger."