Romance Insurer Gifts

Friends with insurance benefits.

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

Wall St. or True Love.

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

'Here's to being in love, in a hurry, and in debt.'

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

"Be afraid my friends...if the government takes over your healthcare, you're going to be left with nothing!"

Dating in 2020

"Hey, little fella. Welcome to the risk pool."

'You mean that if one of us came to a sticky end I would receive a hundred thousand?'

HOLY LAND INSURANCE CO. , 'Darn you, Methuselah! -- You've completely

'I'm sorry Bill, but some things in medicine we doctors just can't explain...like insurance forms.'

'Sure, I'm nervous. Remember OUR first date?'

"I'm not here to take away your guns—I'm here to sell you some overpriced insurance."

"No, I didn't say, 'health'. I said I'm concerned about your wealth... Can you afford to pay my bill?"

Here's my dental insurance card. Sorry. Twig had a visit within the last 6 months. This one's not covered. That was a check-up. This is an emergency. How about Twig's chipped tooth? Your policy doesn't cover cosmetic problems. Now I get it! My insurance is cosmetic. Have a nice day!

Reducing Health care costs with health and fitness programs

Investments: Call us hopeless romantics for still believing money can make you happy!

'Your coverages suggest it will spread rapidly to your wallet.'

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

"Now we'll see what my husband has to say about this!"

"With this policy, at the age of 12, he receives 10 marrow bones a month."

'You certainly picked your moment to propose!'

'What do I do now? -- the company I buy my malpractice insurance from is being sued for malpractice!'

"You’ll meet a beautiful woman whom your mother will loathe."

"For someone your age, the yearly premium on a $5,000 policy is $8,000."

'Lucky for you there was a safety net.'

'We're moving you from intensive care to intensive billing.'

"Richard, Mr. Chenolock, the insurance man, is here to determine your life expectancy."