Financial Romantic Gifts

"How romantic! A handwritten prenuptial!"

'...assuming the numbers are right, ask her to marry you.'

'I thought I'd marry Roger, but his stock failed to meet my analyst's expectations.'

Investments: Call us hopeless romantics for still believing money can make you happy!

Tree in Dollar Shape.

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't

"You'll note that the card isn't signed so my declaration of undying love isn't legally binding!"

"Your resume's very impressive, but we're looking for a financial wizard."

'Would you merge your mutual fund with mine?'

'I believe in aggressive mergers, Celia.'

Man feeding fish banks with money, not food.

'Look, I want you back, but I'm not going to beg.'

'How wonderful - the both of us in futures.'

"This doesn't have anything to do with the falling price of oil, does it?"

'And then the bad man from the Securities and Exchange Commission and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!'

I Drew a Hot Guy

'Doctor Corazon, I'm in love with you. You make my right ventricle go pitter-patter.'

'And do you agree to share any downturn in the stock market with equanimity?'

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"We went dutch - he must have reached his two-hundred-dollar dating deductible."

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

'Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing.'

"How does this sound: 'Single, nearly solvent company seeks relationship with like-minded, prosperous multinational.'"

"He was expecting a golden handshake."

"I talked Vladi into skipping the transition to democracy in his country and just shooting straight over here with me."

Surgeon gives nurse heart, saying, Will you be my valentine?

"I'm leaving my job so that I can spend time with another job."

'...but then the Dow rallied and the blue chips began to rise...'

'Oh, Denise. I wish we had met when community property laws were more in favor of men.'

'It was love at first sight!'

"...get in there and make my post docs fall in love with their research."

'Ask your doctor if investing in the market is right for you.'

"I love it - offshore - it's such a romantic word, please say it again."

'Can I ask you what you're buying lately - Just to make dinner tax-deductible?'

'I had to co-pay for the bagel.'