Roman Empire Admirer Gifts

"Ale, Caesar?"

Mappa Brittanica

'Usherettes and razzamatazz won't bring back the crowds - we need some new lions'.

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

'I like it but frankly, I had something more substantial in mind.'

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

'A message from the Vikings, sire. It says, 'we've got spirit! Yes, we do! We've got spirit! How about you!?'

Sistine Selfie

The Death Of Venus

"Which way to the Mona Lisa? We're double-parked."

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

Curators at the Louvre Museum would regret approving the installation of a work on a wall behind the Mona Lisa.

Blue Dress

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

"It appears to be a giant boil, sire."

"Agreed. They were undoubtedly sack religious."

Romulus and Remus

"Well, Professor, it translates to, 'I don’t want to work, I just want to bang on the drum all day.'"

Euro Problems

All Roads Lead To Rome

Hans Holbein

"Sure, but what have you invented lately?"

You're my Mona Lisa.

Shakespeare

"You guys need to #@%!% fight harder. You're all #@%!% wimps! You call yourselves a #@%!% army? Bull%#!*!"

Otto von Bismarck

"Let me handle this. I have trouble making eye contact."

"...And supposing you do repress it, Leonardo? Somebody else is certain to come across it again in a few years."

"I can't decide whether to call it 'wheel' or 'emoji'."

"A fire-breathing dragon represents the conflict you have with the Lord of the Manor."

"At least the TV people are saying Alvin Bragg had to pass a rubix cube to indict me. That had to hurt."

Greek and Roman Art: The Broken Off Bits