Roller Coaster-phobic Gift-giver T-Shirts

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

End the Winter Blues

"Now this is a dog park!"

'Stocks rose, then dropped on news that life is full of highs and lows.'

'What luck, Mom! There's no line over at the Super-Lippty-Comet Coaster that's even bigger than this one.'

The interminable!

'Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday you like beans, now you don't like beans.'

"I'm looking for something that the recipient will be too embarrassed to regift."

'The roller coaster was great! -- How was the bungee jump?'

Man reads from card at awards ceremony: 'And the award for Best Actress goes to ...'

Nutcracker Roller Coaster

"By the time Edith thought to complain about her new stairlift, she was already airborne."

Monster Roller Coaster

Laughing till you cry

Theme Park 'n' Ride

At the retirement home for daredevils.

Rollercoaster - in and out gates.

'Stop the world... I wanna get off!'

Flying carpets.

"And that was with the handbrake on!"

'I put hopeless at Christmas shopping into a search engine and your name came up!'

"Anticipation. Anticipation. Anticipation. Anticipation. Yee haw! Nostalgia. Nostalgia. Nostalgia. Old age. Shoot."

'Anything new on your roller coaster design?'

"My wife's bra size? I don't know, about like this I guess."

Tunnel of Butts.

"Are you ready to try it with a real egg?"

'This ride will really test your atheistic beliefs.'

Significant risk.