Role-reversal Comedy Lover Pillows

Servant dismissed by master

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

'This should be perfect. The main characters fall in love during a series of explosions.'

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"Call me?"

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

Woman with kids at husbands office.

'That reminds me of the blind date I had last weekend!'

Love is in the air...

'Big date tonight, but I've just shed an antler: Do you have superglue?'

Pole vaulter jumping Lover's Leap.

'Let's go to a bar and do something funny.'

Salt and Pepper

A Prickly Pair

"It's about time."

Boyfriend of the Month.

"It's a Wonderful Life" if it was written by scientists.

Lady asking her fiance's son if she can be his new mother.

George Clooney Machine

'Don't worry, Alice. I won't leave you.'

"You don't sniff my butt anymore."

What a gentleman imagines while he holds a door open.

"I never let my hair down on the first date."

'How can you say I'm a bad actress, Tarzan?'

Lovers in toile de jouy

"Here's a request from someone who'd like to hear something in tune for a change. Oh, we have a comedian out there, I see."

I want to hold your hand

I haven't been down there since last Valentine's day. I want to check on a couple who asked me to rekindle their romance. A year ago I told them that thanks to me they'd be spending more time together and less time at their offices. I said I'd make it so they'd have lots of nights at home ordering some take-out and watching a movie. They must be very happy with me. All I did was shoot an arrow of love, but apparently they think I caused some sort of pandemic to happen!

'-and the ceremony,dearest,your place or mine?'