Rodent Storyteller Gifts

"You're not exactly what I was looking for either."

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

'Iguana know what time it is.'

'No, really, go ahead. You know me - I'm all about the journey, not the food pellet!'

"We fell for this last time remember..."

'Well, ex-CU-U-Use ME!'

"Stop playing dumb, young man. I wasn't pulled out of a hat yesterday."

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

'As a young rat, I traveled the world as a stowaway on a merchant navy ship...'

"Wow, you've got to try this combination."

'Why in the world do you want to log on to the vet doctor. who did a 'fix' job on you?!'

"I kid you not, he shot that duck right over the middle of the lake and said 'fetch'! Do you have any idea how cold that water is?!"

"I remember the time a cat came down here. We scared the hell out of him."

"Roaches, rats, mice, fleas, silverfish… we're all the family of vermin."

'Tarzan'

'I feel better today too, but around here I've learned not to be too optimistic.'

'I don't get it. He had the smallest paws in the whole litter.'

'Don't worry about your daughter Sir: I'll find us a dump to live in...'

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

'It's a great, safe neighbourhood: The owner of the house is allergic to cats...'

'My dad is away, so we can play...'

'Farm News' readers want to know about my childhood? Rather normal really: Lived in a pigsty, ate swill every day...'

"Well, team-sports are rather difficult to organise around here: Just keep practising your bilboqiet Darling..."

The Water Diviner

Aesop's Fables - Dog and His Own Reflection

"Didn't you find it attractive that he was a "Free Range Chicken'?"

'Not so easy, is it?'

'I think he's saying he wants a hug.'

'It's gotta be a trap.'

'Well kiddo, I'm proud to say that in all my years of service, I've never lost a sheep...'

"This is all going into my thesis."

Acme Pest Control