Rod Wielding Champion Gifts

Of pitting his own wits against their natural cunning

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"River well stocked this year."

A Bloody Butcher

Fishermen dread the spot where the lures hang heavy from the trees like Spanish moss.

'If you want to catch that fish ship open on the way home, we'd better leave now, daddy.'

'Well, I got a hunting license and a fishing license and by golly I'm going to use them.'

'Just a couple more and we'll call it a day.'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Fishing - No. VIII

The Salmon Fisherman

Brothers of the Angle: Fishermen think of themselves as one big family.

The experience angler is prepared for little snags of courses and knows the most scientific way to deal with them.

"FISH ON"

Thanks to hypnosis, he quit smoking cold-turkey. Everyone seemed real supportive until he came strutting into work, half-naked, gobbling incoherently.

'If you were a carp where would you go?'

'Look out for the park ranger while Bernie and I chop us some firewood!'

For company he has the friendly, shortsighted little water vole.

Two prehistoric men struggle to lift a heavy rock near Stonehenge.

'What do you mean it's deep? It's not even up to my ankles.'

"Terrible, I couldn't fall asleep no matter how hard I tried."

Will the last person to quit smoking please empty the ashtray!

'I think he's getting ready to hammer that plug.'

"Well this has been a waste of time. I haven't had a single bite all day."

No Smoking/second hand smoke kills.

Never begrudge spectators their interest in your piscatorial prowess.

"Before you put on a nicotine patch you need to take off the old one."

"You can either stop smoking now or wait until after your cremation."

'I wasn't supposed to stay, but then I got hooked on these things.'

'Those 'light' cigarettes have given you 'light' cancer'

'Be the fish, catch the fish, Jack.'

passive smoker

'A barefoot fisherman is great! He gives us cover, and we can suck the leeches off his legs!'

Cigarettes kill

"We've got a problem."

'I told you smoking was bad for you.'