Robotic Comedy Buff Pillows

'I'm worried about him. He's becoming emotionaly involved with the vacuum cleaner.'

'So, what do you want to be when you grow up: rebel scum or loyal servant of the supreme android republic?'

"You've been replaced by a new AI program, but we can keep you on until it's finished it's vacation."

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

"The fact that I have multiple personalities and none of them are computer literate is depressing."

Robotic man mowing the lawn

"After seeing the benefits of web analytics, Amy hoped to learn something by attaching cookies to customers who visited her store."

'...it's a robots staple diet.'

"This can't even be the right planet! No one looks remotely like their online profile pics."

"One human arm torn off by a roomba - starting bid is 500 volts."

"And this is our totally computer automated robotic office of Human Resources,"

"And your chosen subject?"

'Don't be silly, Ralph...of course you're not being replaced by a computer...you're being replaced by an electric paper shredder.'

'It keeps sensing disturbances in the Force!'

Humpty Dumpty sat on a paywall.

"Forget it, Goliath, I've decided to attack you online instead."

Home convenience goes too far with the lawn-bot 3000!"

'I need a new motto. One with 140 characters.'

Point of no return: 'I told you that stupid GPS was defective. Should've returned it when we still had the chance.'

'He's disappointed because he heard that site had a high bounce rate, so he thought it had a lot of cleavage.'

"Hey. My appointment reminder app isn't working. I think we missed our boarding time on the ark."

'Take no notice of Nigel, he just finds alternative comedy incredibly amusing!'

Giant Remote Control.

"That's it, now press, 'Reply-All' and bingo! Everybody's prayers have been answered."

"I thought you said these scales speak your weight?"

'You said you wanted to experiment in bed.'

'Funny how talking to an automated voice system makes YOU sound like the robot.'

"Baldo, you will never flip off people on the highway again...do you hear me?"

"Hmm, I didn't know that mobile phones could kill..."

''Feet of clay'? - This was some kind of CYBORG?'

Press "one." One what?

"You can use our WiFi as long as you'd like, but if you're going to be nasty you'll need to move to the troll section."

"Bluetooth costs extra."

Electronics information and complaints...NO whining

'This biometric ID badge is part of the school's new security system. The badge contains y encoded retinal scan, fingerprints and level of job enthusiasm.'