Robe Revamper Pillows

The King's New Robes.

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

One of the failed candidates for the copyrighters job wants to know 'wat was rong with his applicashun'.

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

'I'm working because I've been upgraded. He never upgraded so he's out of work.'

Laid off from a dot-com? Ask about our resume-writing software.

"References? Well, I just got six references from the guys in your waiting room."

Radiant, yet flammable.

“This daily metamorphosis never fails to amaze me. Around the house, I’m a perfect idiot. I come to court, futon a black robe, and, by God, I’m it!”

"I've got some skills - I'm just not sure they add up to a 'set.'"

'This is a very important trial, Ferguson -- you'd better put pants on.'

'I'll stop saying you've changed jobs too many times if you'll stop giving me notice.'

No. 83 In A Series OF Extraordinary Unlikely Events.

Presentation Skills: 1. Preparation

'I would've hired you if you had fudged a little more on your application.'

Should I be encouraged by your robe, your honor? No. It's just laundry day. Have a nice verdict.

It's my summer robe.

"Reverend, we need to get you a button-down collar."

Russell Rebrand

"He just woke up from hibernation."

The Secret Service gets a new look.

Airport Cheerleader

I'm his lawyer, here to defend inaccuracies in his resume.

A pilot is waiting for a Jedi to signal he can proceed on an airport runway.

Most folks just go with the white.

'What made this particular applicant for the job stand out?' 'He applied for the job.'

"By God, you're not a man who's afraid to fail."

"It appears you're a bit overqualified to be exploited, but somewhat underqualified to exploit others."

'It would help if you updated your resume.'

"Frankly, Mr. Sims, it's your resume. It's all 'me, me, me,' isn't it?"

'Mom, you did say it is a bath robe.'

"Very bold, but I'm not sure it makes you a risk-taker."