Road Repair Buff Pillows

Maybe we were supposed to use the stimulus money to fix the potholes by spending it.

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

'Those are all highway miles. The previous owner was a pharmaceutical sales rep.'

'I need a really loud horn. My brakes are a bit spongy.'

Elwood 'I Can Fix This Myself' McGrunzen

"Instead of filling in all the pot holes, it’d be easier to lower the rest of the road."

'Cover me whilst I cross the road...'

The best safety device is a rearview mirror with a cop car in it.

Self-Serv: Patch the road yourself.

"Judging by all the parts that fell off our car, I must've have hit more potholes than I thought."

Death helps with a broken down Hearse

"Will it take you long to fix it ?.I have to be home in twenty minutes."

'Sorry I'm late. My van broke down and I didn't know how to fix it.'

Farmer complaining about his repair bill.

"You're a quart low."

"I thought it was an error. THE GPS said 'time to destination 23 months'."

"So, it's not the battery then."

"I never knew the moon had so many craters..."

'Can I hold it for a while?'

Removable Manhole

Using road signs to explain an accident.

Perspective repair

'Put some beef into it, McAuliffe - you're flagging!'

Roadworks in town

'Before we closed the street and put up lights, it was a pothole.'

One solution for better roads...

"Don't be silly, the one at the back is a sinkhole, all the rest are potholes."

"You've got to be kidding me! The one night of the year when I need them to be at the top of their game....and I get a flat!"

"Duh! You must get tired of all these stupid questions."

Roadworks

71 section of the road

Stop for Steamroller