Riverbank Storyteller Gifts

Lingua East Anglia.

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

Fishing line going in to water and then dropping down from sky at top of panel.

'Do worms feel pain? Of course not! As a matter of fact...'

'You're doing a play in kindergarten?'

'the selling of seashells by the seashore was sluggish.'

"Hey! I've got audio but no visual!"

"I can't tell you how it ended. That would ruin the sequel."

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

"Trust me, come low tide everyone will want these seats."

Pavement Artist

"Simon, I'm not really interested in your juvenilia."

'Gee, Grandpa, you sure have a way with animals.'

Punch&Judy/Counselling

"My report on summer vacation. . . Book and movie rights are available for $1000 each."

A child with a parasol is blown off the Chain Pier in Brighton

Fisherman's catch getting it's revenge

'Your barn door's open.'

-You need a permit to fish here. -I'm doing okay with a worm, thank you

Angler's bait

Shakespeare at the beach ...

"The quality of the writing is an embarrassment, it has no style, no fluency, no soul!"

Of feeling the balance and whip of a favourite rod.

"Ha! You mean you've only caught one fish all day?!"

"If it gets boring, I can tell you how I borrowed money from the Mob, and how, right now, we;re actually on the run from them."

'Now that's what I call a catfish!'

Desert Island Gossipping

'If you hold this shell to your ear you can hear the ARRRGH!'

"This here is a little number I wrote when I recovered a repressed memory."

"Daddy, the wave ate my sand castle!"

'Give that back!'

statue in park: 'Arnold P. Rossiter, a local boy who went to the big city and made it big... and now he's back home, flipping burgers, just like we always said he would.'

'When you first caught me, I thought you were into the kiss and release program!'

Sheep Fishing

Hadleyville Has-Beens