River Crooner T-Shirts

Singer in a boat disturbing the fish.

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

Toothless Rocker, "Oi, play the guitar with your own teeth !"

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

Bashful in Nashville

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

Festive squad

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

'Woke up this morning found someone had stolen my guitar...'

'Leader shy and angler wise I can put up with - it's the darn insolence that bothers me.'

"I came all the way from Alabama just to see you, Susanna. Why in tarnation are you cryin'?"

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

'Old blue-screen's back!'

'Oh, shut up!'

"O Holy night - Aye! The stars are brightly shining - YUH!"

Music from the moon.

'The records show, I took the blows and did it, the way of whatever sheep happened to be in my way.'

This'n song here, "She Done Me Wrong 'n' That Ain't Right," goes out to my high school english teacher.

"O.K., I'm off to do some running and off-key singing."

Dolly Parton

Rhinestone Accountant

'The song made it seem so much more serene.'

The New Modern-Day Lament.

'One more yippeee-ki-yi from Roy Rogers back there,and i'm putting a hoof through that guitar.'

"I'd like to sing some songs from the great American songbook, I'll start with the Dead Kennedys. . ."

Banjo Player

"This next song's about our desperate struggle to please and chronic craving for approval. I really, really hope you like it."

"Gentlemen, let's pick it up again with 'I Been Livin' on Cold Navy Beans.'"

"And a parsley in a pear treeeee."

'May we sing you a few carols?'

Bobby Biddle, world's worst country singer.

Pianissimo - (to sing very softly).

Singing is everyone's shower rights.