Risk-averse Planner T-Shirts

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

A wiser and a better man

A safe is about to fall on an unsuspecting man interested in risk-free investments.

"The best laid plans of mice and men... differ materially in their objectives."

"You asked to see me, boss?" "Yes, Rudy. We have a serious problem here." "I'm going to need you to stop humming the 'Star Wars' theme 24/7." "Disney is notoriously litigious. If they catch wind that you're publicly performing the theme, they may sue the cafe for royalties." "Daaaa... daaaa... duh-duh-duh daaaaaaa... daaaa... duh-duh-duh... wait, what?" "If you cost me my livelihood, I'll do to you what Han did to that Tauntaun."

For 29 years, Bert's strategy had been to reach retirement without making any waves,missteps or career-limiting moves. And it might have worked, too, if only he'd foreseen the fossilization risk.

"I bought it on Amazon. They have a good return policy."

'I'm not taking any chances with the water jump this year.'

They're rich but not in a glamorous way. They're Certificate of Deposit rich.

"He wants the cat for his next trick. I'd be real careful about this, Eileen."

"If your instincts tell you to go out in a shark infested ocean then go. My instincts are sending me to a nice little aquarium out in the suburbs."

'Oops! Maybe I should've put this sign out a little earlier.'

'Maybe hard work 'never killed anyone' but why take the risk?'

'Wait a minute! Aren't you the chap who refused planning permission on the St., Mary's church extension?'

Fortune Telling: Retirement Planning.

"This is a great investment, as long as you're not in it for the thrills and chills."

"Measure twice. Wipe once."

"For clients with an extremely low risk tolerance, I recommend they talk to someone with a ground-floor office."

James never left his bed, seeing nothing but danger in the financial world.

"I didn't smoke, drank in moderation, exercised, ate kale, and yet, here I am."

It's not that Ned is superstitious...but rather, he doesn't take unnecessary risks!

'Your financial statements indicate to my trained eye that your tolerance for risk is low.'

'I totally understand your extreme risk-aversion. Now hand over your mattress and let's slip into some comfy corporate bonds.'

'Even with the impact of global warming I think Timmy would be safe enough with factor 95'

'I'm a nervous investor so I asked my broker to dilute my market risk. My broker put me into a hedge fund of hedge funds of hedge funds.'

"Happy New Year"

'Dammit, Tell! Practice on your own kid!'

My 35 years of experience tell me your tolerance for risk is low...

Lemmings look over a cliff at a safety net

'I need to write a list of things to do, but I just can't get around to doing it.'

"Our low risk portfolio concerns extend to sanding off all the sharp corners."

Hard Work Never Killed Anybody - But why take the risk??