Risk-averse Thinker T-Shirts

"Our low risk portfolio concerns extend to sanding off all the sharp corners."

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

"I know it's a big risk, Fred, but don't lose sight of its strongest selling point: You're taking it, not me!"

"My name's Edwin, and I'm addicted to risk."

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

Yomp Investments - Big risks sometimes means BIG BUCKS!: 'I'm a little uneasy about the 'sometimes'...'

Fish talking in a bar - one has a heap of hooks hanging out of his head 'And you must be the one who got away?'

"You asked to see me, boss?" "Yes, Rudy. We have a serious problem here." "I'm going to need you to stop humming the 'Star Wars' theme 24/7." "Disney is notoriously litigious. If they catch wind that you're publicly performing the theme, they may sue the cafe for royalties." "Daaaa... daaaa... duh-duh-duh daaaaaaa... daaaa... duh-duh-duh... wait, what?" "If you cost me my livelihood, I'll do to you what Han did to that Tauntaun."

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

A safe is about to fall on an unsuspecting man interested in risk-free investments.

'What's your tolerance for risk?'

"I'm a little uneasy about the 'sometimes'."

"I bought it on Amazon. They have a good return policy."

"After thoroughly researching all the details, I think we can now safely throw caution to the wind..."

'I'm not taking any chances with the water jump this year.'

They're rich but not in a glamorous way. They're Certificate of Deposit rich.

"In the event of a water landing, your seat cushions may be used as flotation devices. And, your tray tables may be used to bash sharks."

'Maybe hard work 'never killed anyone' but why take the risk?'

'I'm screwed...'

Harold M.: He's Sure Taking A Lot Of Chances!

'My accounts aren't insured, but it's the risk I take for higher interest rates.'

"If your instincts tell you to go out in a shark infested ocean then go. My instincts are sending me to a nice little aquarium out in the suburbs."

'Should I buy or sell?'

Investments: thrill-seekers welcome.

A businessman balancing on a unicycle that has a coin as a wheel, on the line of a graph of falling financial performance.

Handy chart

'We want someone who's willing to take risks.'

'Great. Now that I've got a better idea of your tolerance for risk, I have a few investments to recommend.'

"This is a great investment, as long as you're not in it for the thrills and chills."

'Just lend me a little bit more. I feel lucky.'

"Perkins, I didn't get where I am today without taking a few risks."

"Fortunately, we're in the market for the thrills, not the money - right, Mr. Franjola?"

"I did a risk assessment of the dangers of not doing a risk assessment, and decided it wasn't worth it."

"For clients with an extremely low risk tolerance, I recommend they talk to someone with a ground-floor office."