Risk-averse Investors Gifts

"For clients with an extremely low risk tolerance, I recommend they talk to someone with a ground-floor office."

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

"I know it's a big risk, Fred, but don't lose sight of its strongest selling point: You're taking it, not me!"

"My name's Edwin, and I'm addicted to risk."

Yomp Investments - Big risks sometimes means BIG BUCKS!: 'I'm a little uneasy about the 'sometimes'...'

Fish talking in a bar - one has a heap of hooks hanging out of his head 'And you must be the one who got away?'

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

A safe is about to fall on an unsuspecting man interested in risk-free investments.

"You asked to see me, boss?" "Yes, Rudy. We have a serious problem here." "I'm going to need you to stop humming the 'Star Wars' theme 24/7." "Disney is notoriously litigious. If they catch wind that you're publicly performing the theme, they may sue the cafe for royalties." "Daaaa... daaaa... duh-duh-duh daaaaaaa... daaaa... duh-duh-duh... wait, what?" "If you cost me my livelihood, I'll do to you what Han did to that Tauntaun."

'What's your tolerance for risk?'

"I bought it on Amazon. They have a good return policy."

"I'm a little uneasy about the 'sometimes'."

'It's not really a growth OR a value portfolio. It's more of a feel-good portfolio.'

"After thoroughly researching all the details, I think we can now safely throw caution to the wind..."

'I'm not taking any chances with the water jump this year.'

They're rich but not in a glamorous way. They're Certificate of Deposit rich.

"In the event of a water landing, your seat cushions may be used as flotation devices. And, your tray tables may be used to bash sharks."

'My accounts aren't insured, but it's the risk I take for higher interest rates.'

'I'm screwed...'

'Maybe hard work 'never killed anyone' but why take the risk?'

"If your instincts tell you to go out in a shark infested ocean then go. My instincts are sending me to a nice little aquarium out in the suburbs."

'Should I buy or sell?'

Investments: thrill-seekers welcome.

Aggressive investing.

A businessman balancing on a unicycle that has a coin as a wheel, on the line of a graph of falling financial performance.

'We want someone who's willing to take risks.'

'Great. Now that I've got a better idea of your tolerance for risk, I have a few investments to recommend.'

"Fortunately, we're in the market for the thrills, not the money - right, Mr. Franjola?"

"This is a great investment, as long as you're not in it for the thrills and chills."

'Just lend me a little bit more. I feel lucky.'

"I did a risk assessment of the dangers of not doing a risk assessment, and decided it wasn't worth it."

James never left his bed, seeing nothing but danger in the financial world.

'Procter and Gamble? I dunno, sounds risky - what if everyone stops using toilet paper?'

"I didn't smoke, drank in moderation, exercised, ate kale, and yet, here I am."

Falling Mountain Climber.