Riot Control Specialist Gifts

'Crowd control has never been easier since this Moses guy joined up.'

"I find it tends to instantly lightens the mood."

Fuel bill gone through the roof

Don't worry, the first 30 years as a paramedic are the hardest.

Anger Management: Breathe in and Breathe out.

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

At home - 'small and early' - refreshments.

'How long did you try before calling?'

"I'm here to join the riot squad: you see, I have a natural ability to disperse crowds. . ."

"Tell her the surgeon is the best in his field and she'll get through this fine!"

"Thanks for coming in to work on such short notice."

Help! Bought IPOs with IOUs.

Novel airport noise abatement procedures.

"Thnakes thuppothed bo be thkarey..."

Boot shiner puts a smiley on a policemen's boot.

A policeman and protester in the same family.

"I'll put you on the waiting list."

Noah's Ark gets a bit overcrowded.

Man asking for a job keeping order on polling day

The rioter's head-quarters

Pest Control.

"Impressive brawl skills."

'I get my best riot training at home.'

'I ain't afraid of no goats.'

'It's great for crowd control on walkabouts'

'How many times have I asked you not to slam that door?'

'I told you we weren't pet people.'

'Must you always bring your work home with you?'

Specialist A&E Centre - "She developed travel sickness on the way here!"

"It's a completely ethical water canon: it uses soft water only."

Security guard disperses football team.

Giant microphone at a riot.

"Quick, let me through. I'm a doctor's receptionist!"

'Hello, hotel operator? I'll be requiring an immediate room change.'