Riot Control Specialist Gifts

'Crowd control has never been easier since this Moses guy joined up.'

"I find it tends to instantly lightens the mood."

Fuel bill gone through the roof

Don't worry, the first 30 years as a paramedic are the hardest.

Anger Management: Breathe in and Breathe out.

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

At home - 'small and early' - refreshments.

'How long did you try before calling?'

"I'm here to join the riot squad: you see, I have a natural ability to disperse crowds. . ."

"Thanks for coming in to work on such short notice."

"Tell her the surgeon is the best in his field and she'll get through this fine!"

Help! Bought IPOs with IOUs.

"Says here that 50 baboons escaped from the Paris Zoo! I think this explains the Nutella riots!"

Novel airport noise abatement procedures.

"Thnakes thuppothed bo be thkarey..."

Noah's Ark gets a bit overcrowded.

"I'll put you on the waiting list."

Skin Deep. Hey, that's my dermatologist! He must be doing pretty well! One man's rash is another man's pleasure!

A policeman and protester in the same family.

Boot shiner puts a smiley on a policemen's boot.

Man asking for a job keeping order on polling day

The rioter's head-quarters

"Impressive brawl skills."

Pest Control.

'How many times have I asked you not to slam that door?'

'I ain't afraid of no goats.'

'It's great for crowd control on walkabouts'

'I get my best riot training at home.'

'Must you always bring your work home with you?'

'I told you we weren't pet people.'

Specialist A&E Centre - "She developed travel sickness on the way here!"

"It's a completely ethical water canon: it uses soft water only."

Hope for Jobless College Grads

Security guard disperses football team.

Giant microphone at a riot.